I believe that, if I want to, I should be allowed to stay in bed all day.
Mom and I once saw two little old ladies having lunch across the restaurant from us. They looked like two girlfriends from the retirement home but we found out they were mother and daughter. We joked that in 30 years that's be us (because mom would obviously outlive dad)...
This afternoon Michael and I went to lunch and across from us were two little old ladies, very clearly mother and daughter.
I felt so sad and angry. I feel like I've been robbed of so much happy times with my mom and I know that I should be getting over it.
Happy anniversary to me - two years today living in the PNW. If i would have know mom was only going to be alive for a year and a half i never would have moved.
I lay down and I try not to remember past conversations or experiences - I try not to think of what should have been but never will. Any time I go X number of days without crying I just end up crying that much harder when it starts again. I just never really realized how big of a part of me my mom was, and how empty and alone I feel without her.
Just updating quickly from my phone since I don't want to deal with my laptop at the moment.
I'm going to meet the boyfriend's mother next week. I'm sure I'll be fine but he's dealing with this, "I feel like she's given up on life without dad and doesn't care if she is eating, drinking too much, our just had given up living," situation with her. He's been in Spokane with her all week and I'm taking the train Monday to meet up with him. I'm sure I'll be fine, but it seems like when ever anyone says "mom" I flinch.
God I don't know what I'm gonna do come the holidays.